I used to be a very “all or nothing” person. If I can’t get along with a few family members, shut out the whole family because its less complicated that way. If people are bullying me, shut out the world because its safer that way. What I have recently realized is that you can pick and choose the parts of the world that matter to you. You can accept what you can’t change, and focus on changing what you can. We have all heard that cliché numerous times in our lives but truly understanding it and learning to live by it takes a very big leap of faith. I finally found the courage to give it a try and so far, its working for me. I now have some confidence in knowing that I do not have to accept sub-par treatment. I do not have to step on eggshells when someone is using me or be afraid to speak my mind because of how they might react. Regaining some confidence (I still have a long ways to go, but its a start!) has helped clear my mind of some degree of self-doubt. I no longer fear that Ashley may be right, that I am somehow “psycho” and “crazy” simply for having feelings and reacting to those feelings. My ex-friends used me, and then shamed me for calling them out on it. That is not acceptable, and I do not question the possible validity of the ways in which they put me down. I cannot change the past, but I can learn from it. Trust, but verify. Give people the benefit of the doubt, but protect yourself along the way. If something feels wrong or suspicious, it probably is, so investigate and do what you need to do to minimize the opportunity someone has to take advantage of you. Let people in, but do not blind yourself to the way that they treat you, do not make excuses for them if they treat you in a negative way. Put the blame where the blame belongs. I have a better future to look forward to, even if I don’t yet know what that future is. I only know for the first time in a very long time, I feel confident enough to allow myself to explore the possibilities.
Invisible : Memoir Of A Swiftie SIX DAYSSSS BEFORE BOOK RELEASE AHH. (via mysweeranfeels